lifestyle

Waste My Time 2018

You know, for a girl who applied to be on “The Bachelor”, I sure have a huge problem with the guy that I’m dating talking to more girls than just me. What makes it so different? I guess the fact is that the one breakup can make you famous and the other leaves you staring at your ceiling fan wondering what these other girls have that you don’t. I’m just going to say it’s their youth. Yeah. That’s usually a huge factor. 

Honestly though, am I the only one who sees what’s wrong with this? How can you decide if you want to be with someone if you aren’t putting 100% into getting to know them? How do you remember which name or which fun fact goes with what person? How do you tell them all apart? How can you make a decision if everything is blurred together? So many questions! 

I understand that dating is much different now. If I’m meeting someone on an app, I expect that they are talking to more than one person. But don’t lie about it. I guess one of my bigger pet peeves are potential prospects acting like they are some sort of heaven sent gift. They brag about how loyal they are, and how they believe in only focusing on one woman at a time. They ask you the same questions, because they want you to think that it’s extremely important that you have the same values. Ya know, they’re “different than most guys”. And then they turn around and do the same things that most guys do. Like, I told you some personal stuff. I thought we had some sort of connection. Yeah, totally misread that. 

Call me old-fashioned (or a terrible multi-tasker), but I believe in giving a shot to one guy at a time. I feel like that’s a good quality to have, and it’s definitely a plus to enter a relationship with trust. If I don’t trust you, this isn’t going anywhere good. You are just wasting my time. 

My friends and family make fun of me because I always self-sabotage any and every new fling that I enter into. Somehow I tell myself that it’s better than entering a relationship that will most likely be toxic. And if it ends up wonderful–well, what goes up must come down. So, I find flaws, I tell myself I’m not that interested and I usually try to cancel the date before it even happens because I already know how it’s going to end. Either he’s amazing and ghosts me, or he’s terrible and ghosts me. Which by the way, I don’t care who you are or what you look like; you’re not cute enough to act like that. No one is, and if you think anything different, then someone needs to knock you off of your high horse. 

Does anyone else find it difficult to either focus on one person, or find someone who isn’t dating multiple people at a time? Am I going about this whole dating thing the wrong way? I’m wondering if it will ever get easier, or if one day I’ll just give up and take myself on lavish vacations where all I do is eat tasty delicacies that I find on IG foodie pages. 

Actually, the latter sounds pretty great. 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Waste My Time 2018”

  1. Dating several people face to face cam get really confusing and difficult to deal with.
    Once I was “in love” with two guys. Things got messy and I ended up with none. 😅

    Finding a date nowadays is so easy because of The online world, that it just becomes difficult. I guess there are just too many choices and opportunities!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so far removed from the dating scene, I’m not sure I qualify to comment. However I don’t see the issue with dating more than one person in th beginning BEFORE you’ve had a discussion about titles. We don’t limit ourselves to making one friend at a time. Yet we are able to keep facts straight about them, right? Now I’m sure a lot of these guys you find are just playing the field. I would just be careful about writing them off too early. You might be walking away from Mr. Right.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ok, so I have a few opinions on this topic from a male point of view….

    First of all, you are not old fashioned by thinking you should be the only female this guy is “talking” to. You hit the nail right on the head when you asked the question, “How do you remember which name or which fun fact goes with what person?” Giving the other party your full attention is how one builds a true, meaningful relationship… if that’s what you’re (they’re) looking for?

    Let’s be honest, most guys take pride in having multiple girls they can text or “slide into their DMs” at any given time. They brag about it with other guys… They usually don’t refer to these females by name when speaking about them with friends, they just refer to them as “this chick…” But those type of guys are obviously not ready for a real, serious, or committed relationship so they associate with similar thinking women, who usually hang out at bars, don’t really have any structure or routine in their lives, and likely eat fast food in their cars while driving with their knees… It’s just easier that way.

    In my ideal scenario… when there is an instant connection made, in person, that is something noteworthy. Imagine being somewhere, with friends or in public, and taking notice of someone across a room as they take notice of you; eyes lock, smiles are exchanged, then bashful look-aways. Yes, I know, I live in a fairy tale… but isn’t having a real, meaningful relationship worth that experience? Or worth that wait? The kind of experience that really has no words to explain? The kind of experience you only get once in a lifetime?

    Second, one does not find meaningful love on an app. That’s a fact. You may find someone who is relationship worthy… but real, lasting love? No way, Jose. The kind of lasting love, the kind of unexplainable attraction to another person is found in true human interaction, taking risks, and stepping outside of one’s comfort zone!

    This whole nonsense about self-sabotage is a very self-aware statement… At least you can admit it. But what are you doing to change it? If you even want to change it? Or are you just waiting for Prince Charming to knock on your front door with flowers and a glass slipper, then promise you the world? You want to talk about fairy-tale! I guess in your case that Prince Charming better show up with a bottle of Prosecco wine, wearing a Tiger’s shirt, and two first class tickets to a Detroit home game, am I right? The flaws are often what make the man. No one is perfect, you just need someone who’s flaws compliment your strengths and conversely their strengths compliment your flaws. It’s what makes a bond.Yes, that advice is free of charge.

    Lastly, when the right guy does come along he will not want to “talk” or “text” or “DM” anyone else because THEY also want to give YOU their full attention. It will be second nature, and the question for either party will never even have to be asked. Those type of guys are out there, I promise you. They may be hard to find. They may be rough around the edges. They may have a few noticeable flaws. But I promise, they’re out there!

    Good luck, Ms. Blogger, keep up the great work!

    Like

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