You’ve all done it. And if you haven’t taken part in this horrible dating habit, then you’ve most likely heard of it. Ghosting.
No, I’m not talking about an intimate pottery scene with a Patrick Swayze lookalike, while “Unchained Melody” plays. I’m talking about when someone ends a relationship with another by withdrawing from all communication, without any explanation at all. They stop answering your texts, they quit liking your content on social media; they basically vanish into thin air, as if everything you once shared never existed.
It’s a savage move. I have never understood how someone could act so invested one day, and then completely uninterested the next. Maybe you came off as being “too eager” to enter a relationship, or maybe they just hated how you dressed (guilty). Either way, it’s as if they honestly felt in their cold, empty soul, that they didn’t owe you any reason for their sudden disappearance.
But ghosting is such a common occurrence now, that we get over it within a couple of days. We’re like sad little puppies with a ten second memory span and a twenty four hour rebound rate! All you have to do is dust the cobwebs off your dating app and your confidence will be restored almost immediately. And then just when you have accepted that they are no longer in your life…their damn ghost starts to haunt you.
You’ve unfollowed them, but they never unfollowed you. And now they’re back. Consistently one of the first viewers to watch your SnapChat and Instagram stories. Stalking. Haunting. Never saying a word, but always in plain sight to let you know that they still exist in the back of your mind, just like your 6th grade yearbook picture with the butterfly clips.
And why do they do this? Clearly they weren’t interested enough the first time around, so why do they linger? What is so captivating about your life now that seemed so terrible to them before?
Perhaps they are “available” again and they decide that since it didn’t work out with the other person, that they’d give you another try. So basically, you’re not their first choice and that’s a pretty sucky feeling. You should probably block them. Which is basically my solution to getting over every failed fling.
I have no problem completely erasing someone’s entire existence from my life. I will abso-f***ing-lutely go to the extent of blocking people, just so that they can no longer follow me. Not only do I not want to see how their lives are going on without me (because obviously their life is nothing without me in it), I sure as hell won’t give them easy access to view how wonderful my life is without them. It seems to help me get over a relationship when I can no longer see them or have any connection to them. Some girls will leave a hair-tie at a guy’s house after they breakup just to be like, “I left my hair-tie at your house, can I come get it?” Trust me, I did it with a unicorn blanket once. I left it in this guy’s truck and it was the perfect excuse to keep in contact with him for months after we ended things. But what I’m saying is it’s pointless, and it only makes it harder to let go and move on.
Basically if you’re going to ghost someone, don’t stick around and haunt the poor thing. It’s time to cross over. Haha. See what I did there?