lifestyle

Ghosts of Playboys’ Past

You’ve all done it. And if you haven’t taken part in this horrible dating habit, then you’ve most likely heard of it. Ghosting.

No, I’m not talking about an intimate pottery scene with a Patrick Swayze lookalike, while “Unchained Melody” plays. I’m talking about when someone ends a relationship with another by withdrawing from all communication, without any explanation at all. They stop answering your texts, they quit liking your content on social media; they basically vanish into thin air, as if everything you once shared never existed.

It’s a savage move. I have never understood how someone could act so invested one day, and then completely uninterested the next. Maybe you came off as being “too eager” to enter a relationship, or maybe they just hated how you dressed (guilty). Either way, it’s as if they honestly felt in their cold, empty soul, that they didn’t owe you any reason for their sudden disappearance.

But ghosting is such a common occurrence now, that we get over it within a couple of days. We’re like sad little puppies with a ten second memory span and a twenty four hour rebound rate! All you have to do is dust the cobwebs off your dating app and your confidence will be restored almost immediately. And then just when you have accepted that they are no longer in your life…their damn ghost starts to haunt you.

MK8D_-_Boo_artwork.png

You’ve unfollowed them, but they never unfollowed you. And now they’re back. Consistently one of the first viewers to watch your SnapChat and Instagram stories. Stalking. Haunting. Never saying a word, but always in plain sight to let you know that they still exist in the back of your mind, just like your 6th grade yearbook picture with the butterfly clips. 

And why do they do this? Clearly they weren’t interested enough the first time around, so why do they linger? What is so captivating about your life now that seemed so terrible to them before?

Perhaps they are “available” again and they decide that since it didn’t work out with the other person, that they’d give you another try. So basically, you’re not their first choice and that’s a pretty sucky feeling. You should probably block them. Which is basically my solution to getting over every failed fling.

I have no problem completely erasing someone’s entire existence from my life. I will abso-f***ing-lutely go to the extent of blocking people, just so that they can no longer follow me. Not only do I not want to see how their lives are going on without me (because obviously their life is nothing without me in it), I sure as hell won’t give them easy access to view how wonderful my life is without them. It seems to help me get over a relationship when I can no longer see them or have any connection to them. Some girls will leave a hair-tie at a guy’s house after they breakup just to be like, “I left my hair-tie at your house, can I come get it?” Trust me, I did it with a unicorn blanket once. I left it in this guy’s truck and it was the perfect excuse to keep in contact with him for months after we ended things. But what I’m saying is it’s pointless, and it only makes it harder to let go and move on. 

Basically if you’re going to ghost someone, don’t stick around and haunt the poor thing. It’s time to cross over. Haha. See what I did there?

Update: The butterfly clips were so 5th grade. Pigtails were the fashion statement in 6th.

5 thoughts on “Ghosts of Playboys’ Past”

  1. Lol cross over haha. I love it.
    I remember at one point when my ex and I broke up. I talked to this guy. We hit it off and then he disappeared. No answers to texts social media nothing. Luckily I wasn’t too invested but I was like wow I really just got ghoated.

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  2. After looking up “ghosting” in the Urban Dictionary it seems you have your definition accurately correct! The subpart or continuation of the definition, however, identifies “ghosting” as not specific to ANY certain gender and is closely related to the subject’s maturity level and communication skills. “Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.” (Illa, Ghostface 2013, 27 November) Ghosting. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ghosting.

    Yes, that is APA format for those of you wondering. No plagiarism here! I am mature enough to give credit where credit is due. And yes, I have spent more time in a college classroom than I would like to admit. Fortunately for me I was able to obtain a few meaningless letters after my name.

    I am assuming from a few vague lines in the story, you have been a victim of ghosting? Or were you the ghostee? Did you not like how the guy dressed so you ghosted him? Or did the guy obviously not like how you dressed so you believe that is why he ghosted you? New drinking game idea! Lets see how many times we can say ghosted/ghostee in this reply!

    I think your intuition was correct when you identified the victim as “too eager” to enter a relationship, and may have scared the other party away. Speaking from experience, it is easy for one party to feel an immediate attraction to the other party and communicate those feeling freely from an altered sense of security or familiarity. However, the other party may have their own reservations they are not comfortable communicating in such an early stage of the “relationship.” This would be my definition of “being on two different pages.” If parties are then on two different pages, unfortunately, one of them may fall victim to the Mario Ghost you posted a picture of.

    Referring to the aforementioned Urban Dictionary definition “ghosting” is closely related to the subject’s maturity level. So logically speaking, if a subject were to suddenly cease all communication it should be evident their maturity/communication skills were not on the level of the victim left wondering, thus the “relationship” would NOT have worked out anyway due to both parties being on completely separate levels of maturity and intellect. (That advice is free of charge.) Don’t be too hard on yourself!

    Ok, enough with the formality. BORING! Lets get down to the constant checking of the social media to see who is stalking us! I did a quick Google/YouTube search to try to find who is looking me up on various social media platforms. To no avail, I have found I am not that popular! So wherever you are finding who is looking you up please share that app/link immediately. Most of the ones I found were horrendously inaccurate. I doubt very seriously people in India and NYC are checking my Instagram 53 times a week? My life is NOT that entertaining! Oh, And you mentioned a 6th grade picture with Butterfly clips. I think I speak for the entire audience when I say we will need to see that picture! Like, ASAP! You can hashtag it #forsingledad. Trust me, it will trend. Then you will be #instafamous… I really have no idea what I’m talking about? I’m just trying to stay relevant!

    In closing, thank you for the female perspective of this content! I do not know how anyone could vanish into thin air without any explanation, but I am very certain it happens. I am not one to be described as a “cold, empty soul” but I do know people who have just stopped texting girls/women because they lost interest overnight. Keep your chin up! And keep doing you! Trust me, it’s working for you!

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    1. Challenge accepted 🙂 Pic uploaded!

      I am guilty of becoming suddenly uninterested in a man for petty reasons, but I always let them know I’m not interested. Usually by saying, “I’m not ready to date”, when really they just ordered my food for me like I was a child or something.
      I have been ghosted several times over the last several months. Usually because of my age or the fact that I’ve been married and divorced already. I don’t express my feelings much to men, so I know I haven’t seemed too eager to enter a relationship. Honestly, I’m usually the one who breaks it off first. It’s become quite a habit. Leave before you’re left, ya know?
      As for seeing who views my content, IG, SnapChat and Facebook all show you who has viewed your stories. My IG gives me all sorts of stats for my blog as well. It’s pretty neat..

      Anyways…as usual, I love to hear your comments and I was just hoping that someone would mention the Mario ghost. Goodnight. 🙂

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      1. I think it is fair, and admirable, to acknowledge your quick loss of interest. But can’t a man express a chivalrous attempt by ordering your food (or drink) without completely losing the entire battle before it ever started? I completely agree the things you call “petty” can definitely grow over time to become quite annoying unless addressed. It seems people should want to find someone whose annoying habits they find funny, or interesting (Yes, I know I am speaking fairy tale, but humor me).

        And, “leaving before you’re left”?!? What is that? That sounds like someone who is slightly afraid of getting hurt and not quite willing to completely invest themselves with someone else. Having had my heart previously broken into a million pieces I can understand your hesitancy. However, I am not going to allow the past to infringe or hinder me from feeling a certain way about someone else in the future, and express it. That would not be fair to the other person because they would not be getting the “real” me, they would only be getting the reserved, guarded, and slightly insecure me.

        I encourage you to open up, and allow yourself to feel those feeling. That would just be my two cents.

        Oh, and the pigtails are so Punky Brewster! I love it!

        Liked by 1 person

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